It's been a few weeks since my venture back to the states from Zambia, Africa and I am still unpacking all that God showed me there. Thankfully, because God is so mighty, I'll be unpacking things from that trip for a long, long time (after all... God could give us a simple blade of grass and teach us an abundance of things about Himself from it. ) I have tried to narrow it down to numbered applications that I have been able to take away from my experience with camp life, however it is hard to simplify a trip like that. When most people have asked me, "How was Africa?" I have a quick response of... "well, that's a loaded question" followed by muffled chuckles, and me doing a quick survey of the audience who is asking me the question, because truth be told, not everyone that asks about my time in Africa really wants to hear about the heart that makes Zambia, Africa truly an "amazing experience." So then, what do you say? I have tried, and prayed, and searched for the perfect "nutshell" version of conveying "The Father's Heart" I saw, and felt, to everyone that minutely cares to ask, and for those that don't care but happen to be in the midst when I talk about it.
Well... my conclusion is this... I have no perfect "nutshell" version.... if you are wanting a nutshell then start collecting lots of airplane games, and preparing for a long flight because you just need to GO... go see yourself and create your own nutshell version. Because to put in to words what it's like to feel the Heavenly Father's good, and perfect, gracious, gentle, faithful, powerful, trustworthy, merciful, intimate, and sweet love exude out of your own earthly body and onto these children that are called out by name, by our Heavenly Father is something that can't be packed into a nutshell. I am humbled to my knees that God allowed me, picked me, to be a goer... and to physically be His hands, His feet, His love, and be Him in the flesh to His most special children. I can give you ever static in the book about the corruption, emptiness, and sadness that is Zambia, but the real story is not the corruption, it is the victorious one in the midst of the corruption.. that's who makes the story. John 10:10 has been one of my staple verses since I have gotten back "Satan has come to steal, kill, and destroy, but He has come that they may have LIFE, and life abundantly. " I first hand saw the unfolding of the John 10:10. My heart was broken for these little ones, because I saw the stealing, killing, and destroying of young boy and girls, in the midst of the streets they walk and the people that "care and provide" for them. However, as the week went on I saw the promise of the last part of John 10:10... "He has come to give them LIFE" and these beautiful children grab on to that promised life so tightly and found a joy that is incapable of being taken away... the Joy of the Lord. Praise God!! I spent 5 straight days getting to intimately know 10, 9-12 year old orphan girls. I learned their personalities, their likes, dislikes, fears, dreams, etc... hearing their stories, looking into those eyes. I loved them immediately, it was like they had always been mine,... yet not mine but God's little ones and I happened to be the chosen humble servant who got to go and give them the love from their daddy...their heavenly daddy. I had never seen children trust a human so quickly before in my life. They wanted to hug me, kiss me, touch me, laugh with me, sit with me, crawl into my lap, carry my things. They cried when we parted ways, and they ran into my arms when they saw me again. For them, our time together was never long enough, and once they got to us, they never wanted to leave. When I think about that day when I finally see my Jesus face to face I envision myself wanting to hug Him, kiss Him, touch Him, sit with Him, crawl into His lap, carry His things, never wanting to leave His midst. I envision a magnified picture of what I saw with my girls. That week God gave me a glimpse into His Heart, He gave me glimpse of just how unexplainable His love is for us, and how that makes us feel. He gave me a glimpse of it through those sweet girls. Because it wasn't me my girls were wanting to hug, and kiss, and sit with, and laugh with, it was God in me that they couldn't get enough of, that they didn't want to part ways with. Unbelievable picture that God painted for me. Truly unbelievable.
My heart breaks for the children in Zambia, however I have found myself more broken hearted for the state of my heart, and the state of the hearts of American Christians. Satan is stealing, killing, and destroying just as strong here in the U.S. but the scary part is, is we don't even realize it. We live our "leave it to Beaver" lives, and aimlessly chase "the American dream" developing a depraved indifference for God's hurting people. We live "the good life" so in the midst of satan's destruction we don't cling to the abundant life God is offering us as we are being destroyed. We have this arrogance, or ignorance that we are living an abundant life. I wish I clung to true LIFE like my sweet Zambians girls do. I wish I had their faithfulness, and boldness, and courage. Our very blessings that we are given are the very things that are keeping us from being sold out to Jesus...from making it all about Him. Our house, job, responsibilies, reputation, vacation time, cars, school etc.. are all blessing from the Lord and those are the very excuses we use for not going to God's children and being their advocate, being Jesus to them. How corrupt is that??!!! Ignorance in the case of the "American Christian" is a very scary thing. I want to unashamedly profess the name of our great heavenly Father like my girls do.
God has been gracious in reveling new revelations about Himself to me slowly, simply, and just at the right time, and I am so thankful for that. Leaving Zambia you feel a bit overwhelmed.... you want to being doing your part but goodness, where to begin??!!. Millions of Millions orphans. God has spoken to me clearly and said "Carly, my sweet girl, we are going to get to my children one at time, be patient, they are mine, I love them, and I wont leave one behind. Continue to do your part, and go and be Me to them." The Lord has entrusted me with ten of His sweet girls... I know them by name... Beauty, Mercy, Lizzy, Alida, Elizabeth, Mirram, Brenda, Naomi, Tandiwa, and Eunice. They have been on my heart every single day and I take great joy in the fact that the Lord has entrusted them to me. He has chosen me to be their voice, and get them what they need. One at a time... in my case 10 at a time, ten very specific unique children of the Lord that I get to pray for, and trust the Lord's provision with. It's blessing and an honor. It's all being apart of God's family. Those girls are my little sisters... my little sisters that love the same God I love. I have been encouraged, humbled, overjoyed, and thankful that the Lord allowed me to join alongside Him. You-us- we, are missing the mark if we ignorantly or selfishly pass up the opportunities to see God at work. God's character, and who He is is mind blowing, inconceivable, and once you get a taste you see just how oh so very good it is.
